Eulogies & obituaries
Eulogy examples and how to write one
By Lindiwe Khumalo · 6 min read · Updated 24 June 2026
A eulogy is the speech that honours the person who has died, usually given by a family member or close friend during the funeral. If you have been asked to write one, this page gives you a simple structure, a short sample eulogy, and tips for getting through it on the day.
You do not need to be a writer. The best eulogies are honest and personal, full of small specific memories rather than grand statements. People remember the story about the burnt Sunday lunch far longer than a list of achievements.
Use the structure below as a frame, then fill it with your own memories.
A simple eulogy structure
Most eulogies last three to five minutes - around 500 to 750 words. Build it in five parts:
- Open - who you are and your relationship to the person.
- Their life in brief - a few key facts, lightly told, not a full biography.
- Who they were - two or three qualities, each backed by a real memory.
- A story - one short anecdote that captures them.
- Close - what they gave you, and a farewell.
Keep it warm. A little gentle humour is welcome and often a relief.
Fill-in-the-blank eulogy frame
Copy this and fill in your own words.
Good morning. For those who don't know me, I am [NAME],
[RELATIONSHIP] of [PERSON].
[PERSON] was born in [PLACE] in [YEAR], and over [NUMBER]
years [he / she] became [a few words: a teacher, a mother of
five, the heart of this community].
If you knew [him / her], you knew [QUALITY]. [Short memory
that proves it.] And you knew [SECOND QUALITY] - [another
short memory].
I will never forget the time [ONE SPECIFIC STORY, told simply].
That was [PERSON] all over.
[He / She] taught me [WHAT YOU LEARNED]. I will carry that
for the rest of my life.
Rest well, [NAME]. We love you. Thank you.
That is a complete eulogy once you fill in the blanks.
Short sample eulogy
Here is a worked example so you can see the shape:
Good morning. I am Thabo, the youngest son of our father, Joseph.
My father was born in Soweto in 1955. He spent thirty-five years on the railways and never once complained about an early shift. He married our mother in 1980 and they built a home where the kettle was always on.
If you knew my father, you knew his patience. He taught all four of us to drive in the same brave little Corolla, and he never raised his voice once, even when I reversed into the gatepost. And you knew his generosity. There was always a plate for whoever walked in at supper time.
I will never forget the Sundays he would take us to buy vetkoek and tell us the same three jokes the whole way home. We laughed every time, mostly at him.
My father taught me that quiet, steady love is the strongest kind there is. I will carry that for the rest of my life. Rest well, Tata. We love you.
Notice how the small details do all the work.
Tips for delivering it on the day
- Print it large. Big font, double spaced, so you can find your place if your eyes blur.
- Practise out loud twice, ideally to one person.
- Have a backup. Ask someone to be ready to read it for you if you cannot continue.
- Pause when emotion comes. A silence is fine. Take a breath and carry on.
- Keep water nearby. A dry throat is common when nervous and grieving.
It is completely normal to cry. The mourners are with you, not judging you.
Frequently asked questions
How do you write a eulogy?
Open by saying who you are, give a brief sketch of the person's life, describe two or three of their qualities backed by real memories, tell one short story that captures them, and close with what they gave you and a farewell. Keep it to three to five minutes.
How long should a eulogy be?
Aim for three to five minutes, which is around 500 to 750 words. A eulogy that runs much longer risks losing the room, and a graveside service usually has several speakers, so keeping yours focused helps everyone.
What is the difference between a eulogy and an obituary?
A eulogy is the spoken tribute given at the funeral, full of personal memories. An obituary is the short written life summary printed in the program or a newspaper. The eulogy tells the story; the obituary states the facts.
What should you not say in a eulogy?
Avoid airing old family conflicts, listing the person's faults, or sharing private details they would not have wanted public. Keep gentle humour kind rather than at their expense, and do not turn it into a speech about yourself.
What if I cry while giving the eulogy?
Crying is completely normal and expected. Pause, take a breath, sip some water, and carry on. It helps to have a friend or family member ready to step in and finish reading for you if you cannot continue.
